so: i am in israel.
 i have been for a good while now.
it is surreal and beautiful and intense here.

i have a job as a kindergarten teacher
i live in a beautiful home with a beautiful man

beauty and love come like waves.
the sea breeze comes in from the shore at tel aviv.

last night in boston
tired and freaking and excited and "x"

Come one week from today, I will have arrived halfway round the world, bags in hand and mind a-flutter.
What a trip life is.

its my birthday
what do you say on your birthday?


well gawd dayum

So in France today, Bridget Bardot (who does alot of animal activism PETA-type stuff there now in her older age) is being brought to trial for spreading anti-Muslim sentiment and hatred. Apparently in a letter to then-interior minister Sarkozy (now the PM), Bardot made some kind of scathing reference to the Muslims reguarding a ritual that involves the sacrafice of sheep, and she's being made accountable for it.

Could you imagine if everyone who spread anti-Muslim sentiment in the states was brought to trial? If everyone who over the past 7 or so years has encouredged that sort of "ok-bigotry" against Muslims and Islam were actually made to stand for their actions in a court of law?

Just makes you think...

i totally sat next to the chick from home movies today
who plays paula

and is also on assorted shows via adult swim

in a cafe

awesome

"Years turn, like autumn leaves; they pass
and we number them, like galaxies or symphonies,
when we should honor them with names,
like hurricanes, or the craters of the moon.
What will Arcturus ever mean to me
compared to these years--1962, 1986, 2005?

They march beside me like siblings,
they are more intimate than lovers,
they do not turn back when I fall behind."

-Campbell McGrath
from "The Future"

I think its indicitive of a big problem in this election that Hillary Clinton is called Hillary, not Clinton, but Barak Obama is called Obama, and not Barak.

I understand that this could be viewed as focusing on the pittance of semantics, but I think its really representative of something thats really bothered me as an undercurrent of this election: that for far too many people, this is a choice between a black man and a white woman, and that furthermore, because it is in most circles far more socially acceptable to be sexist than it is to be racist, Clinton is constantly degraded by the use of her first name in the informal, familiar tone.

I understand that this is a small example, but to me it is simply such an obvious one that it has come to represent the problem as a whole.

I personally am in favor of Obama over Clinton, but this in all conscious examination has nothing to do with the former being black or the latter being a woman. What I will admit is that yes, I am thrilled that two of the three real potential candadites for the presidency are not total examples of the one model we have had as president of this country since its birth: white, male, and priviledged. Though these are not necisarilly bad attributes, and although the candidates indeed possess at least one of them respectively, I believe that to have only had leaders of a representative democracy that hail from one group of the nation demographically (and one which is not the majority, by far) is disproportionate and not true to the spirit of representation itself. This isnt to say that we should elect a president simply because they are alternatives to "privledged white male", but rather, it is to say that the absolute precedent of every single president in the history of this country having been a member of said demographic was not for want of adequate candidates from other demographic criterea, but rather was the result of both a political system in which members of other demographic groups were held back from holding real campaigns as well as a cultural mindset held by the mass of Americans in which a member of other demographic groups simply would not be accepted as a possible candidate, reguardless of their credentials.

However, I am in support of Obama not because he is a black man, but rather because the ideals which he holds are closer to my own than those presented by Clinton or McCain (although I do agree with many of the things which Clinton advocases and afew of the things advocated by McCain). I am voting for him and not for McCain or Clinton not because McCain is a white man or Clinton is a white woman, but rather because both candidates (McCain much more pronouncedly) differ more signifigantly with the ideal person I would like to represent the U.S. (and myself as a citizen of it) than does Obama.

If one steps back, one can see that there are far more similarities between the propositions of Obama and those of Clinton than there are differences. However, the largest distinction between the two, which has led me to believe that Obama has more potential to truly  come closer to my ideal representative than Clinton does, is precisely that point which has been so commonly refered to in the commentary on and the banter of these campaigns: that Obama indeed does have less experience than does Clinton, and that this is precisely the attribute which is neccesary in a person to enable them to heal  what has become the very sick, damaged and corrupted political institution of our nation, which unless amended, and quickly, will continue to rot all endevors and aspects of the United States from the inside. I do not for a moment doubt that Clinton would, in a perfect world, truly accomplish this healing, but in the reality which we must deal in, Clinton, despite what again I am certian are noble intentions, owes too much to too many people to truly act on them. Examination of her voting record in congress, though it will reveal a number of actions which adhere to her professed values, will unfortunately also reveal a number of actions which do not. Examination of Obama's voting record will show a vast majority of decisions made which adhere to his professed values. In my opinion, this is precisely because of the comparative brevity of Obama's involvement in the political world, especially in comparison to that of Clinton.

Reguardless of my personal preference, I also happen to believe that neither Clinton nor Obama, nor even     McCain (when compared to the other agregious GOP candidates of this election), are candidates I would tear my clothes in mourning upon hearing that they have won this election. In fact, I feel priviledged to vote in an election which is not a question of "voting for one because the other is so bad", but rather of "which of these three eligable albeit yes, as any candidate will be in a human system, not ideal, but nonetheless eligable candidates do I most agree with in terms of values and proposed actions, and which do I think will most effectively impliment these actions?"

It is for precisely that reason that the cult of "Hillary Hatred" so disgusts and disturbs me. Personal, often sexual or anti-female insults (the three suggested tags for this entry are "president clinton, hillary clinton, and hillary rottencrotch clinton") are disproportionately thrown at Clinton in response to any statement, no matter how similar it may be, and often is, to a statement of Obama's, and simply in general as attacks on her persona. The most negative, violently offensive steryotypes about women in general, but especially about women in a position of strength and power, are passed and channeled into acceptable statements by being attatched disproportionately and often without real basis to Clinton. An anti-female pathos is being communicated via "Hillary Hating", on a whole gamut of a spectrum, from blatant and crude to subtle and less noticable (among them being the almost unilateral addressing of Clinton by her first name "Hillary").

Stop and think: what would we think if black steryotypes and hatred were being thrown at\through Obama?

I think it's time for us to stop and think about what we do because we can get away with it, and how in the long run this is destructive only to ourselves, and to our growth as a nation and as a species.

South Station:

Sitting or standing, but in in any posture still or only briefly moving, I am rapturously innundated by a nameless, formless but nonetheless most purely known, purely understood JOY, utter bliss at being surrounded by my fellow human beings, universes moving all around me, and a unity of universes in a greater Cosmic Consciousness, a language we all speak.

My love surges forth from me as the legends of my life recounted from several years back; I am truely, here siting surrounded by my bags on the floor of the South Station depot, at the entrance to train terminals, awaiting the 10:20 Worchester train, at an ecstatic and peaceful place of happiness.

I LOVE....

"That the people of Rome or Warsaw
Haggle, laugh, make love
As they pass by the martye's pyres"

-Milosz

"Thy firmness makes my circle just,
  And makes me end where I begin."

-John Donne

"Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears,
  Men reckon what it did and meant;
 But trepidition of the spheres,
  Though greater far, is innocent."

-John Donne
from "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning"